Killin' Couches to Save Amtgarders

Long awaited update

2006-05-07T06:09:37Z

OK. SO kids, killcouch has once again angered the mainstream. With any form of luck, Shire of the SHinykids will switch kingdoms, after being released from various paperwork. Does this deep down PLEASE the killcouch? Not at all. I started playing in DS 11 some years ago, in a little place called Shadowvale. The kingdom switch is from various reasons, none of which I'll list here.(if your curious, shoot me an IM or something). I've seemingly angered alot of people, and made alot of people happy at the same time. Wow. Great stuff.

On other news, I've finally stepped down as Sheriff, and it's like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders! I can go to Amtgard, and just NOT care! It's great! I can relax again, and not stress, and just fight and have fun. I'm slow nowadays with my fighting, I haven't found a need to pick up the pace. On much of any form of amtgard fighting. I need to though. I'm slacking and it's starting to hurt my performance on the ditch field. I suppose this is my hiatus from REALLY SERIOUS amtgard for awhile. We'll see though. On other awesome news:

Gratz to Grix on das red belt
Grats to Glenalth, who got knighted Flame. This has been a long time coming. I seriously am happy for him.
Gratz to my knight for his Master Lion (GIVE HIM THE DAMN FLAME BELT ALREADY!)

My pages are moving down here, and hopefully we can start doing something awesome in general.

PS, Sponge should have his own line of angry clothing.

Post Duchy of Irongate War Report

2006-04-03T03:54:04Z

The war went off without a hitch. There were 8 of us, and 60 of them. We lost. Badly. Most people that were SUPPOSED to be fighting with us backed out to fight with IG. Suck. On a better note, the Unseen Hand got their ASSES handed to them when the Dark Riders and Nighthawks joined forces. I was supposed to be on the Unseen Hand's side, but Boots, Kat, and somebody else came and stole me. I thought it was rad! When the game started, there was less Hawk/Rider/random people than there were Hand members. Once lay on was called, tactics came into FULL BLOWN status. The Hand lost... terribly. It was kinda funny.

Other than that, IG had MANY.. MANY people out on their field. Many foo's to stab in das spleen. It was quite rad. Heh. It seems I've been accepted by many people in GP that are fairly choosy on who hangs out with them. I was pretty pleased to get a hug from people I never thought would acknowledge me. To end the entire day, Moonshadow from GP asked my advice about handles for swords, and Kat, an OOOOOLLLLLLDDDDD friend of mine from back in the DAY, has become my pledge to the Sterling Dogs (read as targets if you don't like us)

Pretend invasions=rad.

Darken=rad. Darken=needs a hug for cooking burgers like he did.

Something not related to Amtgard...

2006-03-29T23:47:46Z

Thats right, you heard it. The Kill has been denied a new job in the great big Air Force. SO, he's getting out. End of story. Anyone know where to get a good job? Heh. I can bend metal, and paint stuff, thats about the only real skills I have. I'd also make a rocking secretary, cause I can type and file like a fucking RIOT!

Yeah.. so... here's to wasting my life in the Air Force.

lazy man's amtgard day

2006-03-26T04:02:01Z

So I make a new plankity foam shield, right? I get jazzed about it, and then I realize I'm getting opened up like a tuna can during the ditch today! It sucked a little, then I got used to the flat feeling from the shield. It's not bad, but I think I might like a handle shield instead of the strap method. The next one I do, will be trowel handle/arm strap. I also thought about making a new shield cover, just cause. I'm starting to understand this whole 'sewing machine' thing, and it's not really bad.

Uh, so, people declared for offices today, and it was pretty awesome. Good ditching, and people used TACTICS! I was UTTERLY AMAZED by this display of teamwork, and wolfpack tactics. I even did an Ironman (cause the one at Sprang War was AWESOME!) and a few people racked up the wins. The highest we had was an 11. Not too shabby for a Shire. I'll have to get ahold of people in power for DS for my awards list, but even if they say no way to the OoW, I can still at least give them a shiny object for placing 1st in the ironman.

More news! Um, the kingdom vote hath not happened yet, but we should do it soon. Might be at Quals, might be after Elections. But either way, all will be sorted out. We also need more people. It kinda sucks, but eh, whatever.

ALSO, Team Drakknar is rad.

Wokka wokka wokka!

killcouch.

Big Ass Update!

2006-03-20T22:29:06Z

Nothing really much to talk about. Some amtgard, some hanging out, some sleeping, some working.. repeat. Went to Sprang War, and stuff went ok. LOVED seeing all my Sprang War homies, and some other random people doing things that sucked. Either or, there are so damn many people who can't honestly stand my knight, and I just don't get it. Now, I know that I wasn't around for the majority of the entire incident, but I have enough of an account to kind of get a picture of what went on. Kra-ken (names witheld for anonimity) and Mark (another name witheld for the sake of nobody needs to know who I talked to) both said some fairly dispariging remarks about my knight. I understand some of the flak coming down on me for the sole fact that I'm his Squire. They expect a reaction out of me.. and I don't honestly give a fuck. Love me.. Hate me.. this is who I am. Take me as I am. Alot of people seem to think I'm fairly funny, some think I'm an asshole. Some people are usually right about one of the 2 opinions. I don't care.

However, chillin' with Sponge (name spoken for lack of creative codeword) was really rad. I hadn't seen him in forever, and the entire event was pretty ok. I suppose thats it for my big ass update.

Wokka Wokka Wokka,

Killcouch.

GP Crown Quals

2006-02-20T08:01:18Z

Well kiddies,

The trip went well enough. Taj got herself some AWESOME scores for stuff she turned in for garb. EVEN SERPENT KNIGHTS told her that her sewing had a distinct STYLE to it. 3 Owls may come her way. A few of the people here turned some stuff in, like artwork... one picture qual'd, so one more owl for her. I'm not sure about anyone else, so we'll move on. We end up going to Canyon to fight for awhile, which went well. I PWNED sword/board. That evening, Warblade, Kat, Colin, Me, Angel, and Aziel go out to Midnight Rodeo, and we knock back a few dranks. It was a BLAST laughing about stuff, and remembering why it was we fell in love with the damn game. We sack out late, and wake up fairly early. Colin's house was WARM AS CRAP! After waking up, drinking a cup of coffee, the day finally started.

I end up with 12 wins before Warblade ends my streak. I don't get much higher, but Halibash got his 5 kills, 2nd order of the warrior. A few other people with damn fine honor in tournies, some griffons might get passed out. We all MOB a Denny's, and eat fairly cheap food, with alot of fork fighting, and overall fun. Sluff stories were told, and the REAL reason the Dark Riders got formed was released to the general public. (It's a funny rumor, but we all know that Raban started it for the reasons stated on the Dark Riders site)

After all that, I lost my jacket, and someone jacked a punch shield from somebody in the van that was riding with me.

PS. I <3 the DITCH! FOR 3V@R! ... and I love "Ants". He knows who he is. Hardest working GP regent on EARPH!

Wokka wokka wokka,

Killcouch.

Loooong awaited update

2006-02-12T22:10:58Z

So,

I've got some form of ULTERIOR MOTIVE during my push to move the Shire of the Shinykids to Golden Plains. A friend of 10 years posts this on his livejournal, and utterly destroys a friendship I thought was pretty solid. aside from that, busy with making people take shots, and learn not to sluff. The new guys show alot of promise, though. Not much else in the way of things new. Alucard from waaay out there in PV land comes to visit, he and his girlfriend are awesome people, I'm truely blessed to know them. A good solid day at the park.

SO, after many many many many MANY talks with DS'ers about this move to GP, have come to understand this is nothing personal, and that we'd like more help from a closer kingdom. Both sides (kingdom and subland) understand the issues with travel, and distance. It's always hard, but, I think we're doing well for ourselves, irreguardless. More updates as I can think of them.

WOKKA WOKKA WOKKA,

Killcouch.

been a few days

2006-01-27T06:00:51Z

SO, it's been a few days. I got to travel to Golden Plains proper, Ama-RIYO TEJAS! LOTS of wonderful ditchin' and battlegamey goodness. Boots remembered who I WAS! HAHA! I'm DAMN NEAR INFAMOUS! Fought with Warblade some, and Maelin from the Dark Riders. MONKEY was there! I almost forgot to mention him Garm, oh he I like sluffing most was there too. Outlaw almost shot me in the head, but I turned my arm into it, and started healing myself. Heh. I felt clever. Um, I miss most my old skool homies, like DAS SPIZZUNGE! He was serene, so sayeth my wife.

Um... aside from all that.... We went to dinner with Vorn, Warblade, Vagabond, Jacobi, and Moonshadow. All good people, mind you. I do miss the days of the hang out sessions after amtgard, where you could really let your hair down (and let the LACK of hair I have down) and talk like humans. We smelled like outside, grass, and sweat, but all was good. I hope to fight more in GP this weekend. Only time will tell though. The thought of getting my FU back to where I feel it used to be is always an awesome challenge. I'm learning quite a bit fighting Monkey. I owe him alot in the ways of stick. I suppose I make up for that in the way I like hanging out with monkey, and not caring exactly what goes on, so long as we can both laugh at whats going on most recently.

Um... aaight. I got nothing more.

SPONGE AND DOWNFLURB!

Thats my new combo.

WoKKA WOKKA WOKKA!

Killcouch.

Another day in the amt-life of Killcouch

2006-01-16T07:25:46Z

This saturday was good. El-Elfo and crew came down and played rather nicely with us. Battlegamey goodness, some TRIGGAH BALL (luv you trigger), and randomly screwing around. Lots of fun had by all. Grundle had 3 weapons broke over his butt, and they weren't even hard swings! Core was snapping left and right out there, but overall, a good day had by all. I think tensions between both factions are cooling off. Maybe we can get everyone to come out and just relax for awhile. Play some amtgard, hit people... whatever.

Short update, but worth the time to write it.

WOKKA WOKKA WOKKA!

Killcouch.

post-midreign notes

2005-12-13T05:48:57Z

First things first.. 80 + PEOPLE AT A SHIRE MIDREIGN! HAHAHA! It was IN.. FUCKING.. CREDIBLE!

Ditching=polite and awesome
Battlegame=accidents happen.. and AWESOME!
Overall=AWESOME!

I <3 Ditching! I <3 it ALOT... for 3v@r! Man.. court was awesome, tajsenquintessa got herself some redbelted action to Sir Vagabond of the GP. Also got her Lady title, which was the awesome. I wish more of DS could have shown, but they were already engaged with stuff. More GP folks than I originally counted on, but it's cool. Eh, who knows hmm? Other neat stuff...

Large Shield Guy got garbed up, and looked quite awesome in his phat new garb.
El ELFO and her crew got a new house going, but their name blows ass.
Bunnykid fell, and I fell over him, while chasing him down during a battlegame, and he wanted to fight me.

Um... I <3 ditching!<--- see? Thats proof!

Until next time kiddies,

WOKKA WOKKA WOKKA!

Killcouch.

The Saturday that will live in infamy.

2005-12-04T04:39:28Z

Guy with a giant shield came to the field, stared at me, and pouted the entirety of the time he was on the field, and he got his whippity spear tossed from the field. he threw his weapon , and then left the field pouting again. MUCH FUN DITCHING! We got a clouds edge dude to come up, Uther. He's a pretty solid fighter. He's learning quickly, and will do said land justice. Well, after all that crap, We had a rousing night of gaming with various shire members, and generally chillin'. MUUUUCH newbie fun. And rumor has.... a couch or two died.

Anyhow kiddies, there ain't nothin' better in this world than updates, and people getting stabbed in the spleen. =)

The rubix cube on a stick says "THE RED SIDE EQUALS BAAAAAD! BAAAAAD!"

Wokka, wokka, wokka!

Killcouch.

MMIIDDRREEIIGGGGNNN!!!

2005-12-01T02:59:24Z

Ok kiddies,

Shire of the Shinykids is having a Midreign! December 10th, and all. However, some awards are getting handed out, some people are going to be made happy, and the MYSTERY EVENT involves the color RED and a formal title. YAAAAY AWESOME PEOPLE IN AMTGARD!

Alright, so there's ditching and some battlegamy goodness, anything else you need to know look on e-sam or message me on here. I can give you DEEETTTAAILLSS!

*dances*

Wokka Wokka Wokka!

Killcouch.

The long awaited UPDIZZLE!

2005-11-22T05:58:19Z

So, some of the Shire of the Shinykids go to The Duchy of Flappyhorse. The ditching was really kind of lame. Some kids need to learn what a struck limb is, and what a struck limb is NOT. Shot taking was pretty much optional that day. We did a battlegame, wherein my team was a bunch of MORONS! An assassin from the other team simply WALKED THROUGH to kill a few of my team mates. It was LAME! My team LET the assassin walk through, my healer played regenerating warrior, and um, lets see... my team just fucking blew. Ugh! Yeah, so .. then we went back to the ditching. That got pretty damn good, save for the fact that most everyone there was REALLY late on some of their shots. It's all good though. Hitting people and taking shots is fun!

Next up, our midreign. Great fun that'll be. We're broke, so we get to eat CAFETERIA FOOD! Alright! We get a separate room to give out awards in, and all in all the event comes off as generic. I don't feel like spending more money for this thing out of pocket like before. So much for recognition for going above and beyond the call huh? OH well, I'm not like SOME monarchs in our illustrious (sp?) past, and just give up on people. I intend to see this through, and show people what a NORMAL amtgard life can be. Sure, alot of people are argueing, but our 'politics' just comes from a strong sense of "Killcouch sucks, he has a red belt, and understands the game better than we do." Phhhh! Whatever. I'll be leaving soon enough as my cross-training package gets built. Hopefully, with enough luck, I'll get my package through in time, and won't have to re-enlist in the same crappy job I have now. But alas, I die... gress.

That being said kiddies....

WOKKA WOKKA WOKKA,

Killcouch.

Trips down memory lane

2005-11-06T10:04:56Z

I can look back, easily, on my 11 year amtgard 'career', and I can picture all the good times I had underage-drinking, and generally causing havoc and being flurby as fuck at events. I embarassed myself more often than not, and generally, alot of people laughed at me growing up, but here I am. I never thought I'd grace a red belt, nor did I think I was ever going to get into a company that I could truely feel at home in, The Sterling Dogs. I never thought I'd ever get the chance to make weapons I could actually be proud of. I never thought I'd have other human beings looking up to ME, for all their Amtgard needs. It's like a dream, one that I never thought I'd ever get to at this point in my life. My wife has pledged into the company, and I couldn't be happier, if not feeling a little strange about things. We'll see how that goes, though. I wish her the best.

The Shire I play at now, The Shire of the Shining Dogs, are all quickly learning what it's like playing an ACTUAL game of Amtgard, not one that was stuck under an educational institution that didn't care if those students lived or died. Now that those guys have gotten a taste of what this game can be, fun, they want more and more of it as I learn new games to play with them. They love ditching, battlegames, all of it. It's refreshing to deal with people who want to play this game, in its entirety. The ditch is awesome, and I LOVE getting more stick, but I like battlegames, and stuff like that. Who knows where I'll end up next, but I hope I can make a difference there.

All that being said, one day, when the amt-world deems me worthy, I'll get to wear one of those white belts that all those who have come before me wore.. a knights belt.

wokka wokka wokka,

Killcouch.

Amtgard updates

2005-10-23T17:49:50Z

Well kiddies, this weekend was FAIRLY peaceful, with visitors from Dark Oasis. Wranwrap and my yellow belted homedoggy came down from said land. Fighting was ALOT of fun! Guy with a big shield even calmed down, after using the ZULU spear, and getting angry when nobody died as fast as he wanted them to. It was alright after that. He beat on a new player, but I talked to him about it, only to have him freak out and tell me I wasn't qualified to give that briefing, since I had done it to other players when I was champion. SImply informing that "I stopped doing that, sosup d should you" got him more angry.

After that spat, everything returned to normal. I don't forsee him playing much longer, and thats his choice. Some other behind-the-scenes things happened, which I will NOT speak of here. That being said, it felt SOOO natural to me to hang out with the Unseen Hand. The more I hang out with them, the more I really enjoy their company. Eh, time will tell as to the future of KILLCOUCH. We shall see where he ends up, and where he decides to go and do. After that has been said, I do believe things may change out a little. Maybe new colors, maybe new everything! Hard to tell from here what will go where.

Wokka Wokka Wokka!

Killcouch.

Ditchin' FUN!

2005-10-17T22:18:56Z

We had a blast! 17 people yet again, and with that, lots of fun in the sprinklin' rain. Lots of fightin', some people got good, some found a new style, some just enjoyed winning for a change. GUY WITH BIG SHIELD was pretty calm, but he needs to switch from that stupid whippy pole he has and pick up other styles, cause he's limiting himself. It's ok, if people get aggressive with him, he'll lose most times anyhow. GUY WITH BIG SHIELD has a brother, and well, leave it to say that if you actually enforce rules with said brother, GUY WITH BIG SHIELD gets angry with you. He wrecked me in the face rather hard, and no apology about it. Oh well, I'll get him one too.

That being said, Shire of the Shinykids is doing pretty well away from the campus. Odd how so many people thought we'd be ok. We're doing better than ever!

WOKKA WOKKA WOKKA!

killcouch.

Park updizzle

2005-10-10T02:29:32Z

Hey everybody! Killcouch here.

This last park session, we got 17 people there, with LOTS of great fighting, and battlegamy goodness. An injury as my Page was struck rather hard by GUY WITH LARGE SHIELD. They say bad things happen when you go out to injure people. Eh, we'll see though, right? Wife still has vertigo, so she couldn't play in the battlegamy goodness, but she wants to do Archer. And here I thought "GREAT! ANOTHER FUCKING ALUCARD!" DAMNIT! But it made me laugh.

Overall, a great day to play Amtgard. Though we lose one of our own due to Military shit, we gain a few extra back.

Wokka, wokka, wokka!

Killcouch.

A sad day in the life of Killcouch

2005-10-02T03:11:59Z

Amtgard went well today. We now play at Rotary park, and the shade did wonders for us just having a blast and throwing foam at one another. Held a sword/board clinic for the newbies, and we played some really neat games. Fox across the river, that sorta thing.

All Amtgard aside, a chapter in my life has closed. Rocking Chair, G.I.R (persona name), or Jason Robinson. Either way you know him, he's one hell of a guy. His wife, Kira, and he have become quite close friends with both myself and my wife, Bren. This year I have spent time with them is a warm spot in a mostly bleak and angry existance. THey have made me laugh when I thought I couldn't. They made me see myself when I really didn't want to. They were some of the best friends I've made since moving here. Them getting orders has really put a damper on our good spirits. Most realize it's not their fault, the military is making them move. But, in time, with time, the spot they leave in our gaming group can never truely be filled. A staunch defender of what is right in this world, Jason and his wife will truely be missed, by one and all in our beloved gaming group. I wish I could have appreciated their company more, but alas, you don't know what you've got, until it's gone.

I wish them nothing but the best in life, and hope that we can get back together at some point. I'll miss them the most... as Jason has the one thing in life I envy him the most about. Happiness, utter and total happiness.

Wokka wokka wokka...

Killcouch.

New Elections, and past members leaving

2005-09-25T17:45:35Z

Ok, so the Shire of the Shinykids had their election. They elected YOURS TRULY, KILLCOUCH, for their new Sheriff, Krystani got appointed regent, and Halabash got elected champion. Lo' and behold, we lost the 4 people who were angry with me from the get-go. Let 'em leave, since small groups like this always have 4 or so people leave due to changing of the guard, or however need be. Those four people probably loathe me at the present moment, but when they see the transformation of what's happening to their beloved 'shire', they'll understand whats going on, and why the Killcouch was happy to step up after the officers of the land became big sacks of stupid.

With hope, and time, after getting elected Sheriff, we instantly got some of our old members back. Normalcy is becoming something that old member can get used to, and we can start doing things like NORMAL amtgard lands do. Having Crown Quals, doing ACTUAL FEASTS, not because I -ASKED- if we could have one. ANYONE gets to become an officer, not just students. 3 of the original 4 who don't like me, enjoyed it that way, because they could run for whatever they wanted to. Great, fine, but you're not actually playing amtgard at all. People will come, people will go, but the fact remains that you should probably follow damn near EVERY rule, and not make rules up so you can keep your seat of power. With that thought, and that being said, things should look up after all is said and done.

Killcouch can only pray that perhaps that the stupid was knocked out of the officers, and they left. This time around, things can get done the way they need to get done. People willing to help out with Coronation, Midreign, and the Stepping Down feasts, people willing to help with Quals, that sort of thing. And when it all comes down this reign, we have a chance to make things right, and build up from where we left off.

Wokka WOKKA WOKKA!

The Killcouch
For good or for Awesome.

The Update

2005-09-20T22:42:26Z

Well, it seems the populace of the Shiny Kids have voted to break away from the college, and to play Amtgard the way it was meant to be played, by everyone. They're trying to stop ol' Killcouch from gunnin' for monarch. Well, turns out they can't, according to copora and the like. And as such, when Killcouch gets his turn to be monarch, then things may well change. When all that happens, The Shire of the Shiny Kids will reign once again as the land what rocks!

All week, the Prime Minister, El-Elfo, has done her best to stop Killcouch from running for office. All week, like the lightening defense he knows he has, the Kill of the Couch, has stopped all advances like a solid ass LINEBACKAH! *Flex* Awww yeah. 'El Presidente' of the BOD says that I have the green light, after talking to him. He reminds me of HOMESTAR RUNNER! =)

No, really. After the long awaited split from campus, the new officers will be elected, and things will go 'Yaaay!' in response to new games being played, new garb being made, new weapons the Shire 'round. Hopefully, with new people come new ideas, and newer spirits. With luck, we should have Barony sooooon. More people, more games, and more fun all around! This coming election should prove to be 'interesting'

WOKKA WOKKA WOKKA!

Killcouch.

some backdating...

2005-09-12T02:45:24Z

Ok kiddies... lemme tell you a story.

It's about a Shire, in Amtgard (gasp)! There was 5 of them, with 4 concrete justice sticks between all of them. Killcouch came around, after time in the great big J-PAN, and showed them the way of golf-core swords. They IMMEDIATELY ask if Killcouch is a Knight of the Sword. Kill informs them that they are sadly mistaken, and that he will show them why. After teaching the n00bs how to fight, Kill informs them of how to make things, period. Swords, spears, some garb... the whole nine yards. Kill then shows them the way of Amtgard as a whole. The game was fun, it was great.

Then, when Kill decides to have a feast, in recognition of said monarch's midreign, everyone decides "is that like a coronation?". After MUCH explaining, and the like, they understood what that was, and then Tajsen agreed to cook for said feast. After 200 of the dollars to get the food, and the TAJ cooking said food, guests were invited, and the plans were laid to have a WONDERFUL feast. Everything goes off without a hitch! Everyone has a blast, and said Shire breaks even, after paying TAJ and Kill for the money for said feast. The SHire had been getting Barony record numbers up, and after much yammering about what the group wanted to do, the idea of becoming a Barony came to mind. Since nobody knew what it took to be a Barony, Killcouch knew, and started expounding on what it took. Nobody liked the idea of actually having to WORK for success, and thusly, they started to turn their ideas about what Kill had told them bout amtgard, and start to see it through their special kid glasses.

According to the Shire, Killcouch's job as Champion was to give out rulebooks, teach newbies to take shots, and generally do every officers job there was in Amtgard. Well, when Killcouch simply printed out the DS copora, and HIGHLIGHTED EVERYONE'S DAMN JOB, everyone looked at it, didn't care, and simply set the copora down,and told Kill that he sucked, and that basically nobody wanted him around... without actually saying it. After Kill found out some unpleasant news about the Shire monarch, and one significant other, he dropped his position as champion, and the like.

Ok, so my hands are cramping, and there's more to this story than meets the eye. Catch me on a ditch field sometime, and ask me to tell you the ENTIRE story. I'll be more than happy to.

WOKKA WOKKA WOKKA!

Killcouch.

First Entry!

2005-09-11T06:20:39Z

Ok, so Killcouch goes to Dragonspine's Quals... and places 4th overall. Not bad, save for the fact that RANDOM FIGHTER WITH CRAZY HAT almost sluffed said Killcouch. To boot, several RANDOM GUYS IN BLACK WITH SOME KINDA BLACK WEAPONS also sluffed said Killcouch.

Aside from that, fighting was polite, and several new people out. I was kinda angry coming out there, but let alone kiddies... I was attempting to break the sound barrier with fast swings, unfortunately.... I just kinda looked goofy.

Jetara Starlemaine is still currently pledging said company, The Sterling Dogs. AND, to boot, we have to hook up before he decides he wants to become a member. So, it's off to travel once again, to attempt to fight with said dude.

Anyhow, off to kill couches. WHY? To save Amtgarders!

Killcouch.. OUT